Pretty Brilliant: How to Decorate a Tiki-themed Christmas Tree for Under $10

‘Tis the season to be jolly — if you’re fortunate to be with family and friends, with a job and a happy home, that is. Even those of us blessed with all the aforementioned may feel a little strapped this year, or at least may be wanting to spread a little more holiday cheer to others who may be in need of good spirits. We live by the motto: If you can, do. So we wanted to share one of our favorite ideas to make the most fabulously colorful and cheerful Christmas tree. And get ready… You can do it for under $10, even under $5!

So what’s the our extremely low-cost and rainbowfully um-brilliant idea? Little drummer boy drum roll please… Cocktail umbrellas! Yep, cocktail umbrellas. They are the least expensive, most fabulous pops of color you can get for the money, and they glow brilliantly throw the lights on the Christmas tree. Trust us. It’s a showstopper! You can get a gross of them (that’s 144) for as low as $3.00. Get two gross (288) for about $6.00-$8.00, and you could decorate a couple trees, or even a nine-footer.

A few years ago we lost all our decorations for our main Christmas tree in a move (including some Hallmark collectibles and handmade ornaments from friends), and starting from scratch buying all new ornaments and rebuilding the memories associated with them just wasn’t possible. So we set out to start over — simple. We found colorfully delightful and cheery cocktail umbrellas to be the perfect ornament fillers as we rebuild our ornament collection again. The tree looked like a box of Fruity Pebbles had exploded, and was an absolutely wonderful result.

Decorating Tips for Cocktail Umbrella Tiki Trees

  • Get a little elf or a gaggle of elves to help you open the cocktail umbrellas. They have itty bitty rubber bands on the toothpick part that needs to be pushed up to hold the umbrella open. When you’re dealing with a couple hundred of them, it’s easier to open them in batches then to put them on the tree in batches, not one by one.
  • Feel free to select only one color, a few colors or all the colors. Any combination will look fabulous! Plus, they are so inexpensive, you can buy more grosses to get enough of the colors you want.
  • The cocktail umbrellas are light and can pop off the branches if you brush by them. We recommend you start decorating your tree top-down and always start each branch level by putting the cocktail umbrellas on the inner part of the branches first, and then working your way out to the outer part of the branches. This minimizes you knocking them off unnecessarily.
  • Mix and match colors all over the tree for a beautiful bouquet effect or try something more bold, like putting a different color of umbrella on each branch level. For instance, make the lowest level of branches all red, the next highest level of branches all pink, etc. So you have bands of color going up the tree. You also can try vertical bands, which is a little more tricky, but very fun!

What do you think? Pretty brilliant, huh? We’d love to hear your ideas. Just e-mail, and we’ll keep them on file for next year, or share them if we have time!

Before go, we also hope that if you have an old, extra artificial Christmas tree, you’d think of donating it or giving it away this year. You can easily tie a nice package of cocktail umbrellas to the tree with a happy bow and a few tips on how to decorate. Pass along the prettiment! It doesn’t take that much to bring cheer!

- See more prettiments at

Betsy Lou


The Midnight Funk Association, the Last Great Radio Show

The Midnight Funk Association was the 12 a.m. one hour segment of the legendary late night Detroit radio DJ Electrifying Mojo, a.k.a Charles Johnson.


An entire generation of faithful fans and listeners from the late 70’s through the early 90’s recognize the radio show for shaping the musical tastes of listeners in the Metropolitan Detroit Area, Northern Ohio, and Eastern Ontario Canada.

Mojo broke many artists in the Detroit market including Prince, The J. Giles Band, The B-52’s and turned audiences on to classic legends like Pink Floyd and Peter Frampton, artist previously unheard on radio stations that were labelled as “black”, or “R and B” .

Nightly at 12 a.m., Mojo called to order The Midnight Funk Association, an homage to some of the great funk bands of the day and of all time.  He frequently played original long versions, and entire sides of albums by George Clinton and Parliament / Funkadelic, Prince, Rick James and many other all time great bands and artists, as well as local groups like Ready For the World.

At the top of the show, Mojo opened membership to the MFA, and members new and old were asked to stand up to show solidarity.

* If you were driving you were to flash your headlights.
* If you were at home, you turned on your porch light. 
* If you were in bed listening to the show, you were required to dance on your back.

And every night for years, people did it !

To become a card carrying member of the MFA, listeners wrote in the radio station and would receive their official MFA I.D. card.

Electrifying Mojo, and the Midnight Funk Association was one of the last great radio music shows of our time.  Many fans of the radio show credit Mojo for being fans of music that they would have otherwise never heard of.  He was a huge influence in turning millions of listeners into Prince fans, and many say was responsible for a six show sell out at Cobo Hall in Detroit in the late 80’s.

It is common to speak to fans of the show that will credit him for turning them on to Peter Frampton, The B-52’s, Pink Floyd, and many other artists that were never heard on Detroit’s “R and B” stations, yet he also supported emerging rap artists like Eric B and Rakim, Run DMC, Whoodini, L.L. Cool J, and the many styles of music heard of the show fit together semmlessly as if they were mean to be enjoyed together.

The Godfathers and Originators of Detroit House and Techno Music, Juan Atkins, Derrick May, Kevin Saunderson, now known and respected around the world as groundbreaking, credit Mojo and the Midnight Funk Association as an early influence in their musical development and he frequently supported and played thier early and history making tracks that launched Detroit techno to the entire world including Inner City’s “Good Life”, Derrick May’s “Strings of Life”, Cybotron’s “Cosmic Cars”, Model 500 “No UFO’s”, “Technicolor”, “R9″ and so many others.

Mojo was known to support and embrace electronic music in it’s early stages and frequently played artists like Africa Bambaataa, Kraftwerk, and New Order as part of his nightly radio show.

Common segments of the legendary radio show included:

* 10:00pm - The Landing of the Mothership. This was the intro to each show with spaceship sound effects and related dialog. Sometimes the music heard during the first hour was indicative of what you’d hear that night; sometimes it would be completely random.
* 11:00pm - Awesome ‘84, ‘85. In the mid eighties, Mojo played an hour of brand new music (hence the year in the title) and a lot of new songs were introduced.
* 11:30pm - Lover’s Lane. A half an hour of “slow jams” for lovers.
* 12:00am - The Midnight Funk Association. Consisted regularly of Parliament-Funkadelic, The Gap Band, Zapp and other funk bands of the era.

From 1:00am to 3:00am (2:00 am on Saturday nights), Mojo’s show was different every night. Sometimes, the MFA would stretch well beyond 1:00am, other times Mojo would introduce segments such as:

* Star Wars - A classic “artist vs. artist” set, where Mojo would alternate selections from two different groups or artists, and the listeners would call in to vote for their favorite.
* Journey - Sometimes a multi-night segment, where Mojo played songs by a single artist or group, spanning their entire career. This usually included a mix of hits and obscure songs by that artist.
* Shout-out - Everyone that called into the station during his show was the recipient of a “shout-out”. He would go on for as long as it took rattling off the first names of every single person who had called in to the show.
* 35-35-35 - Mojo would take suggestions from listeners about their favorite artists and bands. He then would choose the three most popular groups that night and play thirty-five minutes, commercial-free, of each group. This segment often gave airtime to groups that no other radio station in Detroit played.

At other times, Mojo would spend the last 2 hours of his show showcasing live mixes on two turntables, by bringing in local DJs to do the same. One such DJ, Jeff Mills, began his career with Mojo as “The Wizard.” Mojo also would air music by local groups at this time.

In the Metro Detroit Area, The Midnight Funk Association was more than a nightly radio show, it was an event that listeners looked forward to every night for years.
It was common to see cars flashing thier lights at midnight and horns honking on the streets all over town at Midnight.

Mojo crossed color lines and did not adhere to a play list like today’s prepackaged radio stations and while broadcast on stations marketed toward the African-American market, his programming was an inspired blend of the best soul, funk, New Wave, and rock that defied standard radio industry formats and genres.

He believed that good music had no color, and should not be packaged into “Black” stations, and “White” stations, a concept still lost on today’s radio station owners, and program managers.

Electrifying Mojo and his Midnight Funk Association was the last of the great radio shows, and the last show that had any originality, and independent thought outside of a prestructured play list or carefully crafted demographic studies.

By following his love of music and adhering to a standard of just playing what was good,  Mojo accomplished something that radio has been unable to do since.  Capture a cross section of music lovers that encompassed every age, race, and finacial demographic, and create listeners andloyal fans that tuned in simply because they loved the DJ and the music.

Most recently, Mojo is serving as Program Director for a handful of Detroit radio stations - he does not publicize which ones - and he was in negotiations to bring his show to XM satellite radio in 2006, but so far nothing has been heard about it.

Fans from all over still speak of the legendary radio show, as well as, others who have heard about it and what it meant to so many, for so long.

For those of us that were there, The Midnight Funk Association will live in our hearts forever, and we will always be card carrying members.

It was truly one of the last great radio shows of our time.

Harold Mansfield


A Rocker’s Guide to Phuket

Fans of rock music will certainly not be disappointed with a trip to Phuket. The island has a vibrant live-music scene that covers most of the bases, from jazz through to good old rock n roll. If you’d rather mosh to rock than bop to dance beats, there are a few clubs and pubs you ought to know about.

Although it’s something of a clich?n the island, Rock City on the beach road in Patong is an established rock club that caters to a primarily tourist clientele. As soon as you see the enormous gorilla above the entrance, you know you’re in for a treat, and Rock City delivers.

Rock City is a fun kind of place with bands comprising of locals, Aussies, Swedes, Filipinos and so on. There are usually three or four bands on per night and each has a different style and character. You won’t hear any original songs at this Phuket club, but you will be able to dance away to the links of Bon Jovi, Metallica, ACDC and Guns n Roses, as well as a few more-modern bands.

As if one Rock City in Patong wasn’t enough, there is now a second venue at the top of Soi Bangla, on the opposite from the beach. It’s much the same as the original Rock City, but the acoustics are a little bit different. Expect to drink and dance until about 2 am.

Although it’s primarily a jazz club, Karma Lounge in Kata is a fun live-music venue where the music sometimes drifts into rock. The vibes are always positive at this Phuket club and people get down until the early hours of the morning.

Of course, no trip to Phuket would be complete without sampling the local rock scene. Although there aren’t many bands in Phuket penning and playing their own songs, there are a lot of decent cover bands playing in local clubs.

9 Richter in Phuket Town is a good place to catch Thai live music. The venue also hosts special events with famous stars from the Thai rock and indie scenes.

Also in Phuket Town is Blue Marina, at the TK Hotel. This is an exciting club popular with young people in Phuket. The music is always fast and fun, plus Blue Marina also hosts special events with popular bands.

The majority of Phuket’s rock clubs can be found in Patong. It usually takes a little stroll around the area to find somewhere playing live music. The quality of the bands varies considerably and there is an unhealthy obsession with the likes of Bon Jovi, but it’s all in the holiday spirit and the drink are cheap and even the Thais seem to have a good time.

Rock on, brothers and sisters.

Gen Wright


Where can i find the best wedding / live bands in surrey or home counties?

Milli Vanilli!!!


Jamband for Groovy Rhythms With Jay Trainer Band

Jamband is the term used to refer to musical groups that do live performances and create albums that speak about fan culture. This kind of group originated back in the 1960s, and it was the popular Grateful Dead who started it all. From then on, jamband continued its mark by coming up with similar bands such as the Phish in the 1990s.

But there are reports establishing the use of the term jamband as early as 1937 with the band Coleman Hawkins and His All Star Jam Band. Musicians during this time included the term jam band in the glossary of dance orchestra, which simply means an improvisation of music. There is no written music, and playing is more on improvising an existing tune or melody, which is usually over extended.

Jamband Features

What you usually see in jamband performances are extended musical improvisation, which means there are a lot of jamming in the middle of a song. The songs created make up long sets of chord patterns that can make a listener move in a rhythmic mood. The first ever jamband, Grateful Dead, was known for their psychedelic rock music. Over the years, the term jamband do not only refer to rock music, but it included, jazz fusion, progressive bluegrass, and funk tunes. The term has also expanded their music to include groups that play folk music, country music, electronica, world music, and blues.

Jamband Today

When the music of Grateful Dead, who had huge fans and followers, began to lay low, the Phish jamband inherited not only their music but the community of followers as well. Phish was later on described as the breathing and cultural phenomena that had hippies for fans following them across the country. Today, jamband is the term used for all music influenced by Grateful Dead and related bands, which includes the music played by the Jay Trainer Band.

Jay Trainer

In today’s generation, Jay Trainer is the popular jamband performer. Putting in use the traditional rock tunes in his music, he is admired for incorporating tones, which can be smooth and quiet and then burst to a loud tune at anytime. He has mastery in several aspects of the rock music, which gives him an advantage especially in the Bay Area scene. People who want to listen to stark lyricism coupled with thick, creative guitar riffs will definitely go for the Jay Trainer Band.

Jay Trainer grew up in San Francisco, California and has been an avid listener of classic rock and soul music. It was during his adolescent years when he was finally influenced by the music he constantly listened to and soon started a jamband. From doing shows throughout the country together with his college band, he soon settled and established himself in his homegrown state where he is getting more successful.

Jamband Site

If you are a jamband fanatic, then there is one website suited for you. For the latest news on jamband, log on to Jay Trainer Band’s site. Get high on new albums that give the traditional funk, rock, and blues music a twist to come up with a modern classic tune. Go through the performance schedules of great jamband artists and catch them when they are near your place. Get to know your favorite Jay Trainer Band and be updated on his whereabouts.

Vikram Kumar


A Good Name For A Coffee Shop That Gets Live Indie Bands To Play?

Well, i have a project, and i need to make a dream business. That would obviously be a coffee shop with local bands play at. The place includes:
–>Live Bands (probably any branch of rock.)
–>Coffee (duh!), and other similar beverages
–>Baked Goods
–>Comfy Seats and Tables ;P

It has a welcoming atmosphere and a retro vintage vibe. Any ideas on what i can name it?

live coffee buzz?
hot beanz?
buns n`bands


Trivium and Slipknot – Their Part in Rock Music Industry

Trivium and Slipknot are new age heavy metal bands who have made their own indelible footprints in the rock music field. Unique music styles set them apart from other heavy metal exponents.

Slipknot was formed in the state of Iowa in 1995 and the band came to international limelight with its first album, the Mate.Feed.Kill.Repeat, in 1996. The theme of the songs depicted anger and frustration. It became an immediate hit as it empathized with the mindset of younger generation. New music styles combined with newer and forceful themes provided for the instant success of the album.

If the first album gave visibility to the band, the second one, titled Slipknot itself, put the band in the stratosphere. It was released in 1999 and was marketed nationally and internationally by Roadrunner Records, the music record giant of our times. The album acquired platinum status too. Vol 3 (The Sublimal Verses) came out as the third album from Slipknot and sales were highly satisfactory. The fourth album, produced in 2005 and came under the name 9.0 Live, is the last offering from Slipknot. Now the band is releasing the next album, which, it seems from promotional releases, is one step ahead of its older releases in uniqueness. Here, melody is mated to heavy metal to form a heady mix.

The band takes great pains to make their albums worthy to its name. The huge gaps between different releases help increase content quality and also customer curiosity. The marketing relationship between the band and Roadrunner Records still stand. The band was earlier known as The Pale Ones, Meld and Pyg System before assuming the current name.

Trivium albums are second to none in the heavy metal music arena. The band, based in Orlando, Florida is sometimes referred to as the king of heavy metal. They have released four albums so far, in addition to ten single songs and several music videos. The first album was a demo record, recorded and released in 2003. The second title produced in 2004, Ascendancy, put the band amongst the top players in the field. Some songs in the album got into chart toppers list too, and the music industry honchos were very forthcoming in their praise to the band.

The album was re-released in 2006 after adding four more records to the already popular numbers. The last album from Trivium stables came out in October 2008 by the name Shogun, has earned a lot of interest, and sales volumes are also great.

Rock Music industry has become richer with the conception of such bands like Trivium and Slipknot. They have given an additional means of entertainment to the masses yearning for something new and varied. The huge fan following of these bands make sure that newer avenues of heavy metal music still exist to be explored and brought out.

Roberta Groche


Music Review of Tonight by Franz Ferdinand

“Franz Ferdinand” are a four-piece Scottish indie rock band hailed from Glasgow, Scotland. They are frontman Alex Kapranos (Vocals and Guitar), Nick McCarthy (Guitar, Keyboards and Backing Vocals), Bob Hardy (Bass) and Paul Thomson (Drums). Their music genres include indie rock, post-punk revival and dance rock. Franz Ferdinand derived their name from historical figure Archduke Franz Ferdinand.

Franz Ferdinand are back after a four-year wait. With their third full-length Tonight, i would say this album is worth the wait! They’re back with broader musical scope, they’re experimenting music and they’re having fun! Franz Ferdinand is back to rock us!

Delicious Tonight kicks off with the ever sexy “Ulysses”. Alex’s voice is sexy in a steady pace. The opening drum beats is very catchy, you would fall in love with this track once the music starts. Franz Ferdinand started off taking little steps with Alex’s improved vocals. I have never heard Alex singing in such way, Ulysses is sexy and sweaty. The music itself has shown Franz Ferdinand’s desire to add in some new aspects into their sound. “Come on let’s get high, come on let’s get high…” Franz Ferdinand has got to be the sexiest band on the dance floor!

“Turn It On” is another track that continues to make the ladies on the dance floor asking for more. The bass and guitar on this track are too irresistible. In the chorus, the backing vocals really complement Alex’s singing. Alex will go, “Although I know you turn it on yeah…” The rest of Franz Ferdinand will go “Turn it on…” Just amazing to hear Franz Ferdinand do that! Turn It On is like a dance club anthem where it never fails to get the crowd moving their body in a sense of appreciation of the music by Franz Ferdinand. Turn it on now with Franz Ferdinand!

“No You Girls” has some repetitive catchy guitar and bass hooks. The music throughout No You Girls is just simply awesome. The lyrics are smartly crafted as well, “Kiss me where your eye won’t meet me, meet me where your mind won’t kiss me…” The chorus also brings us another mesmerizing moment. It’s anthemic, sexy and catchy. The handclaps, guitar, organ and team-vocals are the climax here. “You girls never know, oh no, you girls’ll never know, no you girls never know, how you make a boy feel…” It’s loud and danceable! Dancing to a rock tune really requires lot of energy!

“Send Him Away” is soft danceable rock track where you would see Alex takes on a softer vocals approach. On every album of Franz Ferdinand, there would be songs that slow the tempo down, in other words, let our ears take a short rest from all the hype going on throughout the album. Send Him Away managed to do just that. I find it sweet and cute with the guitar that has a slight country element in it. In the last 1:12 minutes, Alex just sings, “Oh, can’t you let me stay tonight…” until it fades while the guitar just does the opposite as it gets louder near the end.

“Twilight Omens” starts off with scary-like string instrument that sounds like a banjo. It sort of brings back the atmosphere of those classical horror movies. Overall Twilight Omens brings you back to the 60s/70s. The way Franz Ferdinand sing throughout this track reflect the old days as well. A journey back to the past perhaps. Only this time, they do it with the influence of electronic music. Rocking old times!

“Bite Hard” begins slowly with the piano-playing and Alex’s breathy vocals. Once it reaches the right pace, the guitar, bass and drums just come in and it would surely wake you up instantly! In between, i like the organ that plays along, it just happens to be at the right place at the right time to make Bite Hard sounds more complete. The music also has a very heavy bass line that is so suitable on the dance floor. Nearing the end, Franz Ferdinand just keep getting louder, “Well I never, well I never, well I never know… I just had to taste their honey…” I think i’m getting up and dance!

“What She Came For” is also another track that contains heavy bass line, but this time is on mid-tempo pace. There are also some electronic elements in this track which Franz Ferdinand use throughout Tonight. At times, without the vocals of Alex, i find What She Came For cute and cheeky. The chorus hits a high with the group vocals of “Wow, look out, know what she came for. Know what she came for. No question, no doubt. Wow, look out, know what she came for…” And the background music, if you listen carefully, there’s a faint organ-playing. What She Came For also features Rosie Wilson on the vocals contribution part. Towards the end, Franz Ferdinand just go for the maximum volume and rock it hard with the guitars. I absolutely fancy this crazily cheeky yet rockable track.

“Live Alone” sort of reminds me of “You’re The Reason I’m Leaving” from “You Could Have It So Much Better”. At times, Gwen Stefani’s “What You’re Waiting For” just crosses my mind. Franz Ferdinand’s usage of synthesizers is very significant in this track as well. The guitar just comes in on and off as to follow the beat and rhythm of this track. And again, Live Alone is being sung in a way that’ll bring you back to the 60s/70s. The good old days are just getting popular nowadays. “You know that i’ll be here, i’ll be here wishing i could be there…” Nice paradox.

“Can’t Stop Feeling” is funnily good! The music in this track is really catchy, especially the instrument that sounds like a bass or maybe a synthesizers, and the beats that sound like a djembe’s which creates an atmosphere of African music. The music is funnily catchy and the moment you hear it, you can’t help but smile faintly. The singing of Can’t Stop Feeling is similarly catchy too. I like the part where Alex goes, “And you leave me here on my own, yeah you leave me here on the floor, you can’t feel it, and you can’t feel it… Anymore…” Just can’t stop listening to Can’t Stop Feeling.

“Lucid Dreams” sounds like a pure electronic track, which differs greatly from the non-album version. Franz Ferdinand are creating a new sound for themselves with Lucid Dreams here and it clocks in at over seven minutes long. From what i listen here, it’s clearly a remixed version of the non-album version. It goes directly to the chorus and climax without the normal build-up. The second half is pure music with heavy electronic elements and some guitar-playing. Franz Ferdinand are reborn again here.

In “Dream Again”, is a ballad that sees Franz Ferdinand have it soft and slow. At times, Alex can be heard singing in a robotic and echoic voice, “I live to dream again…” If you listen carefully, there’s no guitar in this track, just some beats created by synthesizers. Dream Again will take some time for you to grow into it, even if you’re not into it, you’d still appreciate Dream Again. Sweet and lovely track here.

Franz Ferdinand end Tonight with the acoustic “Katherine Kiss Me”. Alex sings with his heart here. He can be heard singing and strumming his guitar away. During the break, the piano comes in at the perfect time to complement Katherine Kiss Me. This track has the story-telling quality where you can clearly hear the voice of Alex as he sings and then you can figure out the meaning of this song. Franz Ferdinand present it with style and manage to close the chapter of Tonight on a soft note.

Rating: Tonight proved that Franz Ferdinand are exploring new musical elements rather than sticking back to their normal indie rock and post-punk revival. This time, Franz Ferdinand added electronic and slight african influences into their third full-length album. It’s always good to know that one of your favourite indie artists/bands are trying or creating something new and fresh. Franz Ferdinand have this ability to make new sound and at the same time, sounding the same. When it comes to creating catchy and danceable melody, Franz Ferdinand are always a force to be reckoned with. They are evolving with every album, and yet still manage to maintain their catchy trademark. If you’re a fan of Franz Ferdinand, you’ll be glad that you have included the right band into your all time favourite bands list. If not, you better be one now! Another achievement by Franz Ferdinand, 7.8 out of 10.

Stand-Out Tracks (My Picks): Ulysses, Turn It On, No You Girls, Send Him Away, Bite Hard, What She Came For, Can’t Stop Feeling and Katherine Kiss Me.

Darren Tan

Darren Tan


10 Ways to Get Inside His Head


“Never frown, because you never know when someone is falling in love with your smile.”


Many women make the mistake of thinking that if a guy finds them attractive, they are on the path to a relationship. Even though they understand that the path may be full of twists and turns, still they believe that attracting the male is the first step. It is not the first step. Attracting the male is the first step to hooking up. When a man finds you attractive, he wants to touch what he sees. That’s it. If the attraction is mutual, you may go for the hookup. Afterwards, what you’ve got is a notch on your bedpost, a hookup with a cute guy. You do not have the beginnings of a relationship.

So what is the first step to a relationship? The first step is getting inside his head. He needs to think about you. He needs to wonder about you. He needs to be intrigued, and he needs to feel an impulse or urge to connect with you. That can happen with or without a hookup, before or after.

An interesting thing I have found in my research is that while most girls experience difficulty in getting guys to commit, there are some young women who complain that every guy they hook up with wants more from them. They are looking for casual hookups and don’t want a relationship. Naturally, that makes them irresistible bait. Of course it’s human nature to want what we can’t have easily. To paraphrase Woody Allen, we don’t want to belong to any club that will have us as a member.

If not wanting a relationship is the best way of being offered one, then what should you do if you want one? What can you do to be successful?

1. Be complete.

One of the worst movie lines ever is in Jerry Maguire, when Tom Cruise tells Renee Zellweger, “You complete me.” Ew. I remember cringing at that. You do not need a guy to be complete. In fact, a guy cannot complete you. You must live your life right now, today, without a relationship. Live it the best you can. Be thankful for what you have. It’s OK to want a special relationship, but you don’t need it to be happy. You really don’t. If you think you need it, you won’t find it.

2. Display enormous self-confidence.

Your mantra: “I am the desired object.”  This is so important that if you don’t believe it, you need to fake it ’till you make it. No one can think you are fabulous unless you do. It always starts with you. When you know your own worth, it shows. And it sells. You know that you would be an awesome girlfriend. You know that you could make a guy really happy. Don’t ever forget that you are a catch! You are not right for every guy. Some guys won’t be interested. Your job is to be your best, most confident self to attract the guy who might be. If you don’t believe that you are pure fabulousness, you need to address that. Take action. What do you hate about yourself? Improve it. Talk to someone. Do something. Just getting moving will make you feel stronger and better. 

3. Be classy.

A 2008 Cosmopolitan survey showed that 67% of guys are most turned on by “the girl next door” look. The “sex bomb” look only appealed to 12%. Understand that you are beautiful in your natural state. Stop trying so hard to get the guys all hot and bothered. The only thing you’ll get out of that is a booty call. If you are lucky enough to have a great body, resist the temptation to display all of it at the same time. Focus on one asset at a time. Use makeup to enhance your looks, not give you the appearance of a heroin addict. I’m not telling you to go ahead and wear sweats; just be more subtle in your presentation. Guys like wholesome.

4. Have the right kind of expectations.

Expecting a guy to become your boyfriend is not strategic. Expecting a guy to like you a certain amount, or display a certain kind of affection, is not effective. On the other hand, expecting a guy to do what he says he is going to do is good strategy. Expecting him to show you some respect; that’s good too. Guys don’t want you demanding love from them. But they will totally get it if you demand respect for your feelings, your body and your time.

5. If he hasn’t committed, you’re a free agent.

Guys are amazed when I tell them that back in the day, when we dated in the traditional sense, it was totally legit to go out with one guy on a Friday night and make out (or more), and then do the same thing with someone else on Saturday. We were dating; dating was shopping. And the guy might be shopping around too. Nowadays, guys want to hook up without commitment, but they think it’s really shady if a girl is hooking up with someone else the same weekend. You have every right to be choosy. So shop around, and don’t take yourself off the market until a boy that you really like asks you to be his girlfriend.

6. Create a little mystery.

I always advise women to hold back 10%. Never give a guy 100% of yourself (even when you’re married!). In every relationship, there is a pursuer and a distancer. Don’t be the pursuer. Don’t wear your heart on your sleeve. Guys worry about the emotional neediness of women (with good reason, let’s face it). Fight that. Keep your feelings to yourself, or share them with your girls for now. Eagerness is repellent. Whininess is repulsive. He doesn’t want you to cling. He wants to pursue you. He wants to wonder what you think. So let him.

7. Slow down.

The best relationships happen between soulmates. You cannot become soulmates through sex. Through pillow talk, maybe, but not through sex. You stand a much better chance of becoming really close to a guy if you allow plenty of time and space for friendship. That means not having sex too soon. Sex can make friendship complicated. It’s much harder to go from sex to friendship, than from friendship to sex. Take time to get to know him. Make him spend time getting to know you. Guys appreciate a slow win.

8. Don’t overreact.

Don’t go all gloom and doom the minute he takes a step back. In Mars and Venus On a Date, John Gray talks about how guys are like rubber bands. They withdraw for a bit, and then they return. If he needs some distance, give it to him. When he comes back, welcome him. Chill out. If he doesn’t text you for three days, just live your life. If he thinks you’re going to give him a really hard time when he does get back in touch, then guess what? He won’t get back in touch. Guys hate drama. There are only so many long talks a guy is willing to have. So save your allotment of heart-to-hearts for the really important stuff.

9. Don’t waste time.

Cultivate a reputation for being a woman who doesn’t waste precious time on fools. You are too good to get hung up on a boy who doesn’t like you. Every tear you cry for a jerk takes up valuable psychic energy and sets you back. If you are feeling crappy about some guy, you are not open to a new guy. You may think you are, but your emotional funk will be telegraphed to those around you in subtle ways. If things don’t go your way, go ahead and feel sorry for yourself for a day or two. Eat junk food, get wasted with the girls, whatever. Then pick yourself up and live your life. 

10. Cultivate a positive attitude in the meantime.

Here’s where I get all The Secret on you. You can be strong and independent, you can take no prisoners, you can even be a hardass without sending out negative vibes. You are open and friendly, you just aren’t cheap. You expect good things to happen to you. A bad attitude is self-fulfilling; if you believe that no one will want you, then no one will want you. I guarantee it. If you believe that you deserve to be loved and are willing to wait for that special guy, then you will find him. You won’t find him sitting in your room, though. The more interactions you have in your day, the greater your chances of encountering someone new. Go out. Psych yourself up as often as you need to, but keep on getting out there. Don’t give up. You can have what you want if you will believe in it.

Susan Walsh

Susan Walsh


How many songs do bands/singers usually perform live?

I know this is an unusual question, but how many songs do singers/bands/groups perform live? Like the Pussycat Dolls, The Saturdays, Mcfly, Paradiso Girls, etc. I know they all probably perform different amounts every time they perform , but could you give my an estimated number? Thank you in advance! :) How many songs does the main act perform in one night? and how many songs in all on tour?

That definitely depends on the size of the concert. If a band’s the main attraction, expect quite a few songs. This isn’t very common though.
From the ones I’ve been on (quite a few!), I’d say a good measurement is about 10-12 songs for medium-famous bands.